Du må være registrert og logget inn for å kunne legge ut innlegg på freak.no
X
LOGG INN
... eller du kan registrere deg nå
Dette nettstedet er avhengig av annonseinntekter for å holde driften og videre utvikling igang. Vi liker ikke reklame heller, men alternativene er ikke mange. Vær snill å vurder å slå av annonseblokkering, eller å abonnere på en reklamefri utgave av nettstedet.
  66 858041
After 3 years in Norway I have come to the conclusion that most Norwegians are unfriendly, antisocial and even rude many times. Of course not everybody, but it's like in general.

I have lived in many countries in Europe and Norway is definitely special. Everybody says it's their way of communicating and if you get to know them they'll be much more friendlier. That might be, but the problem is that I haven't been able to get any Norwegian friends. The once I've got is not from Norway. This have never happened to me before in any other country.

Everytime a "Norwegian" says hallo or greets me at a new job he is either Swedish or Danish. Almost all the time. It's not a joke.

In my opinion it might has to do with the whole structure of the society. The strong government, a lot of socialism combined with the rules and benefits. You should keep things by yourself and mind your own business and so on. All the equality, which is great btw, but you certainly have that in other countries asuch well so that have nothing to do with it.

Norwegians however are not shy to let you know how good they are. Don't get me wrong. Your society is great with all benefits. But I just wonder why so many Norwegians are like this. I know a lot of you will be offended by this text, and that's another problem. Why is it to hard for you to here critisism? It's like you don't even want to listen. If you do, perhaps things can get better? People don't feel very welcome.

I know some of you will say things like: "it depends on where you are,,or who you meet" or even how I act etc. But no this is an objective opinion many agree with. Believe me.

So I simply wonder. What's your take on this,, and how do you fix it? Do you even want to fix it?
Sist endret av nso; 24. desember 2016 kl. 00:04.
Norwegians are cold towards others, that is true.. But i cant imagine you living here for 3 years and not getting one single Norwegian friend. I have a friend who is from the US, who lived in Norway for roughly 18 months before i met him. He invited me to a party at his apartment, and he had roughly 20 "close" Norwegian, and around 10 foreign friends on visit that evening..

I met him in the gym, and we started talking, and we became friends.. Really not that hard to get to know Norwegians, if you speak to them.

Regarding your statement that we don't take criticism well, thats not right.. We get criticized by the EU, Russia and China all the time. All jokes aside, I doubt Norwegians take criticize any harder or refuse to listen more then others.

We are not shy to let people know how good we have it, though most make jokes of us, when they hear how much taxes we pay, and what you have to pay for everything.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
robhol's Avatar
If you're going to go to a different country and expect everyone to act the same as where you're from, you're probably in for a surprise - no matter where you're from and where you're going.

It's worth mentioning that the term is asocial, not antisocial. Being asocial is being standoff-ish, being antisocial is something completely different and usually associated with psychopathy.

That being said, I think that to a large degree, you'll find that we're basically reasonably good guys. I think the response you're getting to this criticism of yours has a lot to do with the way you're phrasing it, ie whinily and strongly suggesting that we're all egomaniacal douchebags that need to be "fixed". How friendly is that, then? How much of an effort are you putting forth?
Sitat av Grossie Vis innlegg
Norwegians are cold towards others, that is true.. But i cant imagine you living here for 3 years and not getting one single Norwegian friend. I have a friend who is from the US, who lived in Norway for roughly 18 months before i met him. He invited me to a party at his apartment, and he had roughly 20 "close" Norwegian, and around 10 foreign friends on visit that evening..

I met him in the gym, and we started talking, and we became friends.. Really not that hard to get to know Norwegians, if you speak to them.

Regarding your statement that we don't take criticism well, thats not right.. We get criticized by the EU, Russia and China all the time. All jokes aside, I doubt Norwegians take criticize any harder or refuse to listen more then others.

We are not shy to let people know how good we have it, though most make jokes of us, when they hear how much taxes we pay, and what you have to pay for everything.
Vis hele sitatet...

Small talk friends yeas. But not one single close one. That's true and as I said earlier. This have never happened to me before. I have not changed.

Yes you really get offended most of the time if you get criticised. I find that also very rare.

So your take is that I am mostly wrong?
I have thought about this a lot. One idea I have is that you don't have to go very far back in time, to find that most Norwegians didn't socialize a lot with others than family and those closest to their home. Many people lived on a "sæter" a small farm, and it could take days to travel to see people, or they lived in really small communities. It's not a big country but it was little to no communication between the north, east and west because of our rough mountain landscape. Might sound dumb but that's my thoughts on why we are so strongly introverted as a people

On how to make friends though, just be the bigger man and take action, most people will be happy for it! We don't really do that, it doesn't come natural to many of us to speak with strangers with the intention of befriending them, but it does not mean we don't want to be your friend.

Good luck! And marry x-mas

Btw, where are you from?
Sist endret av Door145; 23. desember 2016 kl. 17:18.
Sitat av robhol Vis innlegg
If you're going to go to a different country and expect everyone to act the same as where you're from, you're probably in for a surprise - no matter where you're from and where you're going.

It's worth mentioning that the term is asocial, not antisocial. Being asocial is being standoff-ish, being antisocial is something completely different and usually associated with psychopathy.

That being said, I think that to a large degree, you'll find that we're basically reasonably good guys. I think the response you're getting to this criticism of yours has a lot to do with the way you're phrasing it, ie whinily and strongly suggesting that we're all egomaniacal douchebags that need to be "fixed". How friendly is that, then? How much of an effort are you putting forth?
Vis hele sitatet...
Oh no absolutely not. I do not except everyone to act like me, especially in other countries. I have never said that and I think you misunderstood me. I am talking about socialising and friendships and things like that. I just try to understand it.

I have lived in many European countries, due to work. As I said, and believe me when I say Norwegians are by far the most asocial and "close".

I ment asocial sorry, but you get me.

Anyway, you also think I am wrong in my take on Norwegians generally? There is nothing to fix?! You are happy as it is? I just ask you what you think and do absolutely not demanding anything. I can't change you.

Sitat av Door145 Vis innlegg
I have thought about this a lot. One idea I have is that you don't have to go very far back in time, to find that most Norwegians didn't socialize a lot with others than family and those closest to their home. Many people lived on a "sæter" a small farm, and it could take days to travel to see people, or they lived in really small communities. It's not a big country but it was little to no communication between the north, east and west because of our rough mountain landscape. Might sound dumb but that's my thoughts on why we are so strongly introverted as a people

On how to make friends though, just be the bigger man and take action, most people will be happy for it! We don't really do that, it doesn't come natural to many of us to speak with strangers with the intention of befriending them, but it does not mean we don't want to be your friend.

Good luck! And marry x-mas

Btw, where are you from?
Vis hele sitatet...
Maybe it works if you are extremely social and outgoing, I don't know, but here it's kind of excluding. At work Norwegians stay together and they never ask me if I want to jpin them if they're gonna do something one weekend. That's normal in most of the countries.

Your explanation is interesting, but it was pretty much the same in many countries, some it can't be only that.

Btw I am from the Netherlands.

Merry Christmas to you to!!
Sist endret av bluestraveler; 23. desember 2016 kl. 17:25. Grunn: Automatisk sammenslåing med etterfølgende innlegg.
nso
popålol
nso's Avatar
Administrator
Maybe your personality is more compatible with those in the other countries you have lived in. It's no suprise that people in different countries are different. That said, I find your characterisation to be hand waving and generalizing. Individuals are not synonym with the collective, and individuals are widely different in Norway like everywhere else.

I live in another country, and every day I have to deal with cultural differences. My choices generally are to assimilate or to feel left out. There is evidently some code you have not yet cracked, not knowing you it is impossible to tell which one.
Sist endret av nso; 23. desember 2016 kl. 17:34.
It's hard to be general about this. People are different in different parts of the country. In my experience foreigners have no trouble getting close friends in Norway. Of course i don't know how it is form your perspective. I can only speak for my self, but if you came up to in a bar, i would be friendly and talk to you. Becoming close friends is of course something else, but it starts somewhere.

I do think you are correct on a very general level. It is not new that we are a bit more closed in than the rest of Europe, or so ive heard. And to be clear, there is nothing inherently wrong with that. But i do see how it could put of people who are used to a more open people.

The point about not being able to take criticism is a new one. I would say thats more of a personal trait, than a national one. I mean we are nothing special except for having the luck of finding oil. Otherwise id say we are mostly on par with most similar countries.

What city do you live in btw?
Den som bare er der
Is this article relevant? : http://moverdb.com/least-friendly-expats/

Norway is really high on the unfrendly list
Sitat av nso Vis innlegg
Maybe your personality is more compatible with those in the other countries you have lived in. It's no suprise that people in different countries are different. That said, I find your characterisation to be hand waving and generalizing. Individuals are not synonym with the collective, and individuals are widely different in Norway like everywhere else.

I live in another country, and every day I have to deal with cultural differences. My choices generally are to assimilate or to feel left out. There is evidently some code you have not yet cracked, not knowing you it is impossible to tell which one.
Vis hele sitatet...
I am not denying cultural differences and I am not expecting you to be like me. I am still talking of the asocial aspects. You argue as it do not exist.

When I am saying Norwegians I am talking about most of them, not individual people. Of course some are different, but that's irrelevant. I am talking in general. If you are different this topic is not directed to you.

I come along with all the different cultures I have experience, as I said. I also just come a long with the Norwegian, but I just wonder why it is so hard to get real friends here. That's all.

Are you in any way open for the suggestion that it's maybe Norwegians that are a bit different compare to others?!
May I ask where your'e from?
Sitat av murloc Vis innlegg
It's hard to be general about this. People are different in different parts of the country. In my experience foreigners have no trouble getting close friends in Norway. Of course i don't know how it is form your perspective. I can only speak for my self, but if you came up to in a bar, i would be friendly and talk to you. Becoming close friends is of course something else, but it starts somewhere.

I do think you are correct on a very general level. It is not new that we are a bit more closed in than the rest of Europe, or so ive heard. And to be clear, there is nothing inherently wrong with that. But i do see how it could put of people who are used to a more open people.

The point about not being able to take criticism is a new one. I would say thats more of a personal trait, than a national one. I mean we are nothing special except for having the luck of finding oil. Otherwise id say we are mostly on par with most similar countries.

What city do you live in btw?
Vis hele sitatet...
No its not hard to generalising. I have lived in Drammen, Oslo, Trondheim and living right now in Aalesund. It's same everywhere.

The most of my foreign friends agrees 100 %.

Sitat av RavnX Vis innlegg
Is this article relevant? : http://moverdb.com/least-friendly-expats/

Norway is really high on the unfrendly list
Vis hele sitatet...

Have to read this. Thank you so much!
Sist endret av bluestraveler; 23. desember 2016 kl. 18:06. Grunn: Automatisk sammenslåing med etterfølgende innlegg.
You don't "fix" a deeply embedded behavior pattern of an entire culture. Every man or woman is ultimately responsible for their own behavior. You can only fix yourself, so if you are having difficulties communicating with an entire country, the only fixing that can be done is by you. As a Norwegian reading this, I don't feel responsible or accountable for my people's behavior, any more than you would if I were to make generalized statements about your culture. But yes, Norwegians can be difficult to get to know. We are creatures of habit, locked in a strange pattern of reserved politeness shaped by history and geography, and inherited through generations. A politeness that ironically is often misread as rudeness by people from other cultures. We can be warm, friendly considerate and loving, but we need the proper context in order to feel comfortable showing these sides of ourselves. If you have been here for three years and still haven't witnessed this, you need to try harder to understand our culture and to facilitate situations that allow your Norwegian acquaintances to let their guard down. You can blame us all you want, compare us to other societies and state your preferences, but you are the one visiting a strange culture you don't understand. If you are measuring and judging a culture based on social rules from other societies, your insights and experiences will be limited. You perceive us as rude and unfriendly mostly because you haven't cracked the social code yet. You are standing on the outside looking in because you haven't found the entrance. If you want to get in, you need to find an arena where the social rules are more relaxed than what you may experience in public places and many workplaces. It can be difficult and time-consuming, but it is what it is, and the position you seem to be taking on the matter probably isn't doing you any favors.
Sist endret av mentalmelt; 26. juli 2017 kl. 23:06. Grunn: leif
Yes - Norwegians are known to be hard to get close to. It is a reserved culture - that I am sure many times are mistaken for unfriendly.

Still I very much doubt that the fact that you are from Netherlands make people reluctant to talk to you or befriend you.

As a norwegian myself - I do not find norwegians unfriendly at all (maybe because I get the culture - and do not mistake reserved for unfriendly). Compared to many of the east European cultures - I see much more smiles and open, friendly faces in Norway then there.

I am not sure the reason for making this thread. If you are looking for tips to get to know norwegians - I would suggest to behave like your normal dutch self. Be a bit aggressive in your socializing ways - and you will get to know norwegians. Hopefully also find out that many norwegians are very nice people
If you really think it's impossible to befriend a Norwegian as a foreigner I think the problem lays within you, not the typical Norwegian. It might be your original place of recidence and culture, and or cultural/religious view that generally don't interests the typical Norwegian. Yes, we have a very different aspect on greeting and talking to strangers, but we don't shy away from friends and family as a whole, we are a friendly and inviting people, with a whole lot of hospitality, but on the other side most of us won't greet you on the bus if we don't know you, that's just how it is. Also there's a big difference when you go more north, they are more free spoken and easier to connect with. That's just my two cents on the matter though.
Norwegians are very private people who tend to mind their own business, and most prefer not to use energy on "useless" small talks that lead nowhere. If you go into a conversation without a purpose, many will think it is useless and maybe even annoying or stressing. (who is this strange guy, and why is he rambling about the weather? what does he really want from me?)
My advice would be to get straight to the point, as most norwegians have little patience when it comes to small talking.
Maybe it's because it is so cold here, that people don't have time for bullshit

Just say you're looking for new friends and want to get to know new people, rather than talking about the weather and tv-shows or whatever, hoping it would lead to a meaningful conversation. Many would definitely still think it's kind of weird and direct, but at least people will give you a straight answer.
Personally i would find it uncomfortable before getting to know you, like, is this guy going to call me everyday and nag about hanging out? or is he more chill and laidback kind of guy?
For norwegians, finding friendship in common interests makes more sense than asking random people on a pub.
That's why i recommend finding something to attend to regularly, like a movie club or somewhere you can see people regularly, so they gradually get to know you, or at least see that you are a cool guy.
Many norwegians are skeptical to strangers, and won't give out their facebook or phone number on the first meeting.

I have gotten to know some foreigners in my time, and some of them i just had to block on social media and unfriend, because they were too demanding and intense for me. Sending messages everyday and suddenly start whining "what have i done to you?!" etc, because i did not respond for a couple of days. Desperate stuff like that is definitely not appreciated.

I definitely do not recommend having a "demanding/expecting" mindset when it comes to social settings. Be tactful and cool, and don't overdo it.
Most norwegians are deterred by "demanding" personalitites, as we are more mellow and generally chilled out. If you are expecting something, people might feel it subconciously and get a little stressed. So just relax and be cool.

The best would be to go somewhere with likeminded people and just try to mingle casually, without being too "expecting" or intruding. Maybe you find someone with the same social chemistry. Maybe a social arena with regular events, like a movie club or something like that.
I think the key is to not try too hard to search for friends actively, but rather seek arenas that attract people with the same interests as you and "casually" talk to them and see if they are interested over time. People are more likely to talk to you, if they have "seen you around".
I understand that this can be seen as very laborate and hard work, but at least it gives you real friends, if you succeed.

Norwegians however are not shy to let you know how good they are.
Vis hele sitatet...
In my experience, this is totally wrong. Perhaps when it comes to sports and "national achievements" yes, we like to joke around and boast to provoke Sweden or Denmark.
But if an individual is doing it about himself, most norwegians would think he is a douchebag. Norway has an unwritten social rule, which we call "janteloven". (lol i didn't expect to find this on wiki! usualy it is just said as a "word of the mouth" kind of thing)
Don't take this too seriously, but basically janteloven says "don't think you're someone special, you're no better than anyone else".
Perhaps this is more the core of the social structure in norway?
At least i think politics and socialism has little to do with it. Most norwegians don't care about that stuff.

Also, maybe you just hang around with dickheads. There are a lot of repulsing douchebags in norway. They look like reality tv-stars, so it is usually very easy to avoid them. Usually they are just spoiled narcissists who watch to many reality shows and think too highly of themselves...
It should be easy to spot them and avoid them, they are usually loud mouthed and generally socially repulsive in pub-settings etc.
Just stay away from these people, they are usually very plain and useless

But i agree, we are a very introverted and private people, but also remember that it is winter now, and many people are affected by the darkness and lack of sunlight. I think most people don't even recognize it is affecting them, but i think it's undeniable that many norwegians get extra introvert and depressed during this season.
it's just how the human body works.. Little sunlight fucks with your head and mood. Why do you think black metal was invented here... it's because of the winter time and winter depression not even joking!

Summertime is undeniably much better for socialising in Norway. It's as if we transform into another species during summer.

My main theory is that it's genetically disposed being a little awkard socially, and that we are genetically used to being small village societes. Perhaps we are not (yet) very used to socializing on a bigger scale. Or maybe that's totally wrong, i dont really know.
Keep in mind Minnesota state in USA, which is very known for its awkward and strange social temepraments, as seen in Fargo, and so on.
It is no coincidence that Minnesota is the state where most Norwegian emigrants settled back then. In my mind the link is undeniable. We are simply just a bit weird and strange, and perhaps we are subconsciously shielding ourself from others, to hide our "weirdness" ?
Nah i dont really know, dude. But it is indeed a very interessting question, and very complicated to answer!
Also keep in mind this is written from my perspective, as a very heavily introverted guy.

Anyways, i hope you'll find some good friends soon! and merry christmas!
Sitat av Hutch Vis innlegg
If you really think it's impossible to befriend a Norwegian as a foreigner I think the problem lays within you, not the typical Norwegian. It might be your original place of recidence and culture, and or cultural/religious view that generally don't interests the typical Norwegian. Yes, we have a very different aspect on greeting and talking to strangers, but we don't shy away from friends and family as a whole, we are a friendly and inviting people, with a whole lot of hospitality, but on the other side most of us won't greet you on the bus if we don't know you, that's just how it is. Also there's a big difference when you go more north, they are more free spoken and easier to connect with. That's just my two cents on the matter though.
Vis hele sitatet...

Maybe, but explain why I (and my fellow foreign friends) think Norway is the hardest country of them all those get close friends in?
Sitat av bluestraveler Vis innlegg
Maybe, but explain why I (and my fellow foreign friends) think Norway is the hardest country of them all those get close friends in?
Vis hele sitatet...
Maybe something that you guys share that might make it hard to befriend Norwegians then - personally I haven't a clue, since I know several people from all over the world who have a reasonable amount of Norwegian friends. (Then again, it might be a bit different at uni/high-school etc.)
Sist endret av Freddy_fred5; 23. desember 2016 kl. 19:45.
As a typical Norwegian I think your observations are largely correct but your interpretation is a little mistaken. I'm not shy or socially akward at all, and I don't mean to come off as cold or unfriendly. It's more to do with giving people their personal space, and not being intrusive.

Travelling in other "friendlier" countries, I find their friendliness a little overwhelming and to me it feels fake and superficial. But that is just how things work in that particular culture, and knowing that, I don't judge them as fake and superficial people. If you want to make friends in Norway, you should probably show the same kind of cultural understanding. If you act as if you're i Egypt you're going to scare people off by coming on too hard.

As to why we are like this, I don't know. Perhaps climate has something to do with it, Norwegians socialize more in private homes and less outside on plazas etc. We've also lived in small villages and not in big cities for most of our existence.

I don't think socialism has anything to do with our way of making friends, this is probably a cultural trait that dates further back. But I do think having a welfare state like ours to some degree weakens the sense of social responsibility. We're used to thinking that caring for the less priviliged is a public responsibility and that makes private initiative less nessecary. That said, I live far out on the contryside, I don't even think it qualifies as a village, and the culture for contributing to the community is a lot stronger here than in urban areas. Out here we also visit each other without calling in advance, and enters the house after knocking once, without waiting for someone to answer. Perhaps you would find the countryside friendlier?
Sist endret av entropi; 23. desember 2016 kl. 19:47.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
robhol's Avatar
Sitat av bluestraveler Vis innlegg
Maybe, but explain why I (and my fellow foreign friends) think Norway is the hardest country of them all those get close friends in?
Vis hele sitatet...
It could either be that we are harder to approach (which in and of itself isn't that easy to deny) or that our culture and yours are just that different. Some cultures are more compatible with eachother than others, after all.
Sitat av Alzo88 Vis innlegg
Norwegians are very private people who tend to mind their own business, and most prefer not to use energy on "useless" small talks that lead nowhere. If you go into a conversation without a purpose, many will think it is useless and maybe even annoying or stressing. (who is this strange guy, and why is he rambling about the weather? what does he really want from me?)
My advice would be to get straight to the point, as most norwegians have little patience when it comes to small talking.
Maybe it's because it is so cold here, that people don't have time for bullshit

Just say you're looking for new friends and want to get to know new people, rather than talking about the weather and tv-shows or whatever, hoping it would lead to a meaningful conversation. Many would definitely still think it's kind of weird and direct, but at least people will give you a straight answer.
Personally i would find it uncomfortable before getting to know you, like, is this guy going to call me everyday and nag about hanging out? or is he more chill and laidback kind of guy?
For norwegians, finding friendship in common interests makes more sense than asking random people on a pub.
That's why i recommend finding something to attend to regularly, like a movie club or somewhere you can see people regularly, so they gradually get to know you, or at least see that you are a cool guy.
Many norwegians are skeptical to strangers, and won't give out their facebook or phone number on the first meeting.

I have gotten to know some foreigners in my time, and some of them i just had to block on social media and unfriend, because they were too demanding and intense for me. Sending messages everyday and suddenly start whining "what have i done to you?!" etc, because i did not respond for a couple of days. Desperate stuff like that is definitely not appreciated.

I definitely do not recommend having a "demanding/expecting" mindset when it comes to social settings. Be tactful and cool, and don't overdo it.
Most norwegians are deterred by "demanding" personalitites, as we are more mellow and generally chilled out. If you are expecting something, people might feel it subconciously and get a little stressed. So just relax and be cool.

The best would be to go somewhere with likeminded people and just try to mingle casually, without being too "expecting" or intruding. Maybe you find someone with the same social chemistry. Maybe a social arena with regular events, like a movie club or something like that.
I think the key is to not try too hard to search for friends actively, but rather seek arenas that attract people with the same interests as you and "casually" talk to them and see if they are interested over time. People are more likely to talk to you, if they have "seen you around".
I understand that this can be seen as very laborate and hard work, but at least it gives you real friends, if you succeed.


In my experience, this is totally wrong. Perhaps when it comes to sports and "national achievements" yes, we like to joke around and boast to provoke Sweden or Denmark.
But if an individual is doing it about himself, most norwegians would think he is a douchebag. Norway has an unwritten social rule, which we call "janteloven". (lol i didn't expect to find this on wiki! usualy it is just said as a "word of the mouth" kind of thing)
Don't take this too seriously, but basically janteloven says "don't think you're someone special, you're no better than anyone else".
Perhaps this is more the core of the social structure in norway?
At least i think politics and socialism has little to do with it. Most norwegians don't care about that stuff.

Also, maybe you just hang around with dickheads. There are a lot of repulsing douchebags in norway. They look like reality tv-stars, so it is usually very easy to avoid them. Usually they are just spoiled narcissists who watch to many reality shows and think too highly of themselves...
It should be easy to spot them and avoid them, they are usually loud mouthed and generally socially repulsive in pub-settings etc.
Just stay away from these people, they are usually very plain and useless

But i agree, we are a very introverted and private people, but also remember that it is winter now, and many people are affected by the darkness and lack of sunlight. I think most people don't even recognize it is affecting them, but i think it's undeniable that many norwegians get extra introvert and depressed during this season.
it's just how the human body works.. Little sunlight fucks with your head and mood. Why do you think black metal was invented here... it's because of the winter time and winter depression not even joking!

Summertime is undeniably much better for socialising in Norway. It's as if we transform into another species during summer.

My main theory is that it's genetically disposed being a little awkard socially, and that we are genetically used to being small village societes. Perhaps we are not (yet) very used to socializing on a bigger scale. Or maybe that's totally wrong, i dont really know.
Keep in mind Minnesota state in USA, which is very known for its awkward and strange social temepraments, as seen in Fargo, and so on.
It is no coincidence that Minnesota is the state where most Norwegian emigrants settled back then. In my mind the link is undeniable. We are simply just a bit weird and strange, and perhaps we are subconsciously shielding ourself from others, to hide our "weirdness" ?
Nah i dont really know, dude. But it is indeed a very interessting question, and very complicated to answer!
Also keep in mind this is written from my perspective, as a very heavily introverted guy.

Anyways, i hope you'll find some good friends soon! and merry christmas!
Vis hele sitatet...
No it happens a lot that Norwegians start talking about Norway and themselves as soon as I mention my nationality. It's like all the time. It's good to that you ask: "what do you think about Norway" but it never ends.

I just want to talk about life, music, having a beer sometimes, without concentrating on our nationalities and countries, and how good one each other are. Like I do with most of other Europeans. When It's like no boundries.

I like when people are curious, but in Norway it very often ends with speaking about norway.

It's like you are having a slightly identity crisis. I almost start to wonder if you really feel like you are this good, or is it some sort of "cover up".

As I said. I don't speaks for every Dutch, and not saying every norwegians are like this, because I haven't met everyone. But it is pretty much the same everywhere of what I have seen in 3 years.

Sitat av mentalmelt Vis innlegg
You don't "fix" a deeply embedded behavior pattern of an entire culture. Every man or woman is ultimately responsible for their own behavior. You can only fix yourself, so if you are having difficulties communicating with an entire country, the only fixing that can be done is by you. As a Norwegian reading this, I don't feel responsible or accountable for my people's behavior, any more than you would if I were to make generalized statements about your culture. But yes, Norwegians can be difficult to get to know. We are creatures of habit, locked in a strange pattern of reserved politeness shaped by history and geography, and inherited through generations. A politeness that ironically are often misread as rudeness by people from other cultures. We can be warm, friendly considerate and loving, but we need the proper context in order to feel comfortable showing these sides of ourselves. If you have been here for three years and still haven't witnessed this, you need to try harder to understand our culture and to facilitate situations that allow your Norwegian acquaintances to let their guard down. You can blame us all you want, compare us to other societies and state your preferences, but you are the one visiting a strange culture you don't understand. If you are measuring and judging a culture based on social rules from other societies, your insights and experiences will be limited. You perceive us as rude and unfriendly mostly because you haven't cracked the social code yet. You are standing on the outside looking in because you haven't found the entrance. If you want to get in, you need to find an arena where the social rules are more relaxed than what you may experience in public places and many workplaces. It can be difficult and time-consuming, but it is what it is, and the position you seem to be taking on the matter probably isn't doing you any favors.
Vis hele sitatet...
So you say my view on norwegians is incorrect?

How is a typical average norwegian to you? Compare to let's say an Italian or Irish? Or let me put it this way: is there any characteristics you find mostly in Norway and not in other country. If so, what is it?

I am speaking in general now, not individual friends of yours.

Sitat av robhol Vis innlegg
It could either be that we are harder to approach (which in and of itself isn't that easy to deny) or that our culture and yours are just that different. Some cultures are more compatible with eachother than others, after all.
Vis hele sitatet...

Yeah, that might also be, but my friends is from all over the world, and they all feel the same.

Except maybe the swedes or the danes, but I find them much more easy to get a long with.

Sitat av RavnX Vis innlegg
Is this article relevant? : http://moverdb.com/least-friendly-expats/

Norway is really high on the unfrendly list
Vis hele sitatet...

Intesting. I still se a huge difference between Norway and Denmark or Sweden. They behave pretty much the same in general, and have same culture, but are much easier to be friends with.

Finland is very "cold" but I still have more Finnish friends.
Sist endret av bluestraveler; 23. desember 2016 kl. 20:38. Grunn: Automatisk sammenslåing med etterfølgende innlegg.
As others have noted, it might simply be your personality that doesn't go too well with the typical Norwegian. (But probably goes well with people of other nationalities). You might write this off as me not being able to take your criticism, but by your writing here you do come off as very direct and forward/confronting. Which is characteristics that throws at least me (as a Norwegian) completely off. (Unlike being humble and gentle).

Why should we fix this, if this is the way of living most of us find comfort in?
Sitat av bluestraveler Vis innlegg
Except maybe the swedes or the danes, but I find them much more easy to get a long with.
Intesting. I still se a huge difference between Norway and Denmark or Sweden. They behave pretty much the same in general, and have same culture, but are much easier to be friends with.

Finland is very "cold" but I still have more Finnish friends.
Vis hele sitatet...
Have you been living in all the other scandinavian countries as well? It might be that you are bonding more easily with the other scandinavians in Norway as they also are foreigners and so are in the same situation.

Anyways. Must be hard to feel this alienated. What keeps you hanging around in this very unfriendly country year after year?
"Øko-Terrorist"
I've met and know several expats and have been one myself in the US. One thing I have heard from several of them is that Norwegians are hard to befriend, but once you get close to them you have a friend for life. It's not unheard of of friends not really talking or socializing for a long time, even years. But once you do contact them or meet up with them again the friendship picks up right where it left off not skipping a beat.
Sitat av trallaren Vis innlegg

Why should we fix this, if this is the way of living most of us find comfort in?
Vis hele sitatet...
Why not try stepping out of the comfort zone every now and then? I believe that it is common known that in general it is recomended.
If you want more friendly and open people, head north. (The southerners are continuously amazed by this)
Sist endret av m0b; 23. desember 2016 kl. 23:24.
Sitat av bluestraveler Vis innlegg
I like when people are curious, but in Norway it very often ends with speaking about norway.

It's like you are having a slightly identity crisis. I almost start to wonder if you really feel like you are this good, or is it some sort of "cover up".
Vis hele sitatet...
I think you are onto something here. I think this about my fellow norwegians very often too.
We used to have a very distinct "national identity", as nature loving, mountain hiking people, born with skis on their feet.
This has faded away more and more with the modern times, as more young people don't really care about identity in the same way anymore.
The national identity has been weakened, and it's like everyone is desperately pretending it's not. So they're often posing and pretending to more into that stuff, than they really are.
example:
"Yeah, skiing in norwegian mountains is really great. you should try it"
(even though the truth is that i havent skiid in the mountains for 10 years myself - but i feel better when pretending it's something i do all the time, because i know it's what i really should do "as a norwegian").
It can be a way of projecting your insecure identity, and pretending you are more than you are.

People with weak identities usually have more superficial and boring conversations than others, i think.
Anyone can start talking about "the norwegian thing" or "the dutch thing", because they are simple facts that everyone knows. It's really the most simple form of conversation, but it is boring and like reading a wikipedia article. Maybe they are just trying to be nice and keep the conversation going...
I agree it's boring and superficial, and personally i think people with weak identity do this more than others.
There are many other things to talk about than our nationalities!
It's just because they don't know what else to talk about... Boring people are everywhere

I have an example that is kind of related to identity:
a lot of norwegians are very national romantic, or at least they like to think they are. They talk about how cool norwegian culture is, when they really don't know much about it for real.
They also say they love norwegian folk music, when they have not heard a single real norwegian folk tune.
I have seen this many many times, as i am very interested in folk music and try to talk about it when people say they like it.
Usually it turns out they are not really interested. It's just a part of the national identity that everyone is trying to pretend they are a part of.
That is why i think it's interesting that you mention identity. I think the same problem can be seen in any country today, as more and more young people are more distant from tradition and national identity than before.

We simply have a very superficial and romanced national identity these days, and people know it deep down inside that it is dying slowly, but won't admit it.
So they just keep talking and pretending the identity is stronger than it really is. This could lead to boring conversations about "norway things", because it makes them feel better about their identity, when they are in reality very unsure about themselves.
That's why i think you are onto something when you say it's almost as if they are "covering up something".
I think they are covering up that they lack the national identity.

I hope this made some sense lol
Sist endret av Alzo88; 23. desember 2016 kl. 23:05.
Sitat av bluestraveler Vis innlegg
Btw I am from the Netherlands.
Vis hele sitatet...
Strangely, I have met a lot of Dutch people both in Norway, in the Netherlands and in other countries, and I've always felt that we connect very easily. I've often thought that Dutch people have a way of talking, a sense of humour etc that really "clicks" with me as a Norwegian. We've passed the polite stage and become personal rather quickly.
Sitat av entropi Vis innlegg
Strangely, I have met a lot of Dutch people both in Norway, in the Netherlands and in other countries, and I've always felt that we connect very easily. I've often thought that Dutch people have a way of talking, a sense of humour etc that really "clicks" with me as a Norwegian. We've passed the polite stage and become personal rather quickly.
Vis hele sitatet...
I agree with this fully. I've got several Dutch friends - either exchange students or just random people I've met somewhere in Norway, which I talk to and hang out with regularly. Many of them are close friends which i travel with and visit on a regular basis. It seems strange to me that all of a sudden "everyone you know" doesn't click with Norwegians because of 'this and that', when so many people I've met says the 'complete' opposite.

Sure, some Norwegians are a bit tough to get close to in the beginning, but from there people say it's a breeze. I would normally say that "you might have too high expectations due to your other travels and meeting up with like-minded and connecting really well", but I can't really pinpoint why you're having such difficulties..
Sist endret av The Riddler; 23. desember 2016 kl. 23:41.
Sitat av entropi Vis innlegg
Strangely, I have met a lot of Dutch people both in Norway, in the Netherlands and in other countries, and I've always felt that we connect very easily. I've often thought that Dutch people have a way of talking, a sense of humour etc that really "clicks" with me as a Norwegian. We've passed the polite stage and become personal rather quickly.
Vis hele sitatet...
I too agreed with this fully! I visited Holland this summer and spent three, nearly four weeks there, and when I left I had made 7 really good friends. I knew four people from earlier, but these were complete strangers. I've yet to come across a dutchie that my sense of humour doesn't click with and that has the complete opposite view of what I have on different things. In my eyes dutchies in general seem like a more relaxed and calm version of a Norwegians.
Still, I've heard many times from foregin friends that Norwegians are "cold" and a bit harder to get close to than most people, generally speaking.
A lot of Norwegians are xenophobic, but hardly anyone is willing to admit it.
Sitat av Opteryx Vis innlegg
A lot of Norwegians are xenophobic, but hardly anyone is willing to admit it.
Vis hele sitatet...
A few Norwegians are xenofobic, and they keep insisting that we all secretly agree with them.

I don't think their xenofobia applies to dutch people though.
Sitat av entropi Vis innlegg
A few Norwegians are xenofobic, and they keep insisting that we all secretly agree with them.

I don't think their xenofobia applies to dutch people though.
Vis hele sitatet...
I would say it applies to everyone including norwegians. Last couple of years Ive been in a city central southeast Norway and I am astonished how the fear for the unknown still can be so prominent in people. Living in a place like this it become so obvious, other places I can get around it with other like-minded and so but here everyone is lost in their own comfort. Besides this fear I think they are just as much afraid of anything that can rock that comfort of well being. Im sure if they could they would build a Donald Trump brickwall around this city to protect their own backyard.
OP: Are you really here for an answer, or simply to vent aggression over your own inability to make friends? You seem to discard every explanation with anecdotal evidence whilst continously making new far-fetched claims that must be true for all of Norway, because that's how you feel it is. Perhaps if you try being a little more open minded, you might be more successful in your attempts...
Sist endret av Sinken; 24. desember 2016 kl. 12:21.
I would recommend you trying this little social thing called alcohol, it really gets us norwegians out of our shell :-)
You are visiting a country where there used to be big distances between people, historically we did not trust other people very much. many posters above me have posted excellent points as to why it is so. Dont measure us to Spaniards. Measure us to italians and germans maybe. I would like to add that I think there is a big difference on the cities. Some have much more students than others and therefore more people in the same boat as you. We dont intentionally mean harm we are just very stuck to ourselves sometimes..the norwegian dream is living isolated away from others. Also we notice outsiders becoming pissed if they dont get their way with us. Dont be stuck in yourself while travelling
I disagree when you say it's related to the societal structure. As you say yourself, other countries have the same or similar structure (for example Denmark, Sweden) but you haven't experienced it in those countries. Therefore, I would claim it's related to the national culture.

The polarization of both cultures creates a clash that eventually leads to the sensation of "exclusion". While most Norwegians indeed are closed-up and perceived as "cold", it is simply our nature - Our business is our own until we chose to share it. You could compare it to an intimacy zone. I'm sure you've noticed how nobody wants to sit next to someone on the bus unless they really have to. So when people from more "friendlier" cultures enters the scene, the opposites become even more clear; Norwegians are perceived as cold and excluding, while "foreigners" are perceived as intruding and loud.

In regards of forming friendships, it's a more complicated matter. Most Norwegians (Whom I know) have very few "close friends". There's the inner circle of 2-5 really close friends, then an outer layer of "friends by association", and then the "Acquaintances". Close friends are found through mutual interests, shared experiences etc. Friends by association and acquaintances are just that - Peripheral social bonds, and not our go-to people. And, perhaps as a result of our shut-in social culture, most Norwegians don't go out looking for friends. Most of us have those from various social arenas; childhood, school etc. "Forced social interaction", so to speak, is basically the corner stone of every Norwegian friendship. However, you'd be surprised at how far a good ol' fashioned drinking session can get you.

If I was to give you any advice; Adapt to the culture. We're a strange, shut-in people, it's just as natural for us as being open is for you.
Well I, for one agree with you. I'm a native born norwegian and slowly starting to despise society around me. Norwegians tend to keep to people they already know, so as someone who fell of track in high school with almost no social circle have led to an almost extreme amount social isolation. I'm in university now, I have social anxiety and do take some initiative which is fucking hard for me. But all I see is my peers inviting each other to parties and having fun and only keep in touch with people they already know. If you start from scratch in this society with struggles, well you're gonna have a bad time.
My father is Dutch aswell, he's been living here for 20 years now. His perception of Norwegians is excactly the same as yours. The only people he befriended were other europeans(German/ Austrian .. ). Several of his Dutch and German friends went back to their countries after living here several years, they just didn't connect with any Norwegians. It is sad that it is this way. I dont know about the rest of Norway, but I love it when strangers engange in friendly smalltalk,(but I'm half dutch, so that's that), most of my friends hate it though.
Your age might be relevant as well. We youngins are usually more open-minded and less shy. Generally speaking though, we tend not to speak to strangers and if spoken to, keep it simple. I actually have no idea how friendships happen in Norway, they just do I am sure though, that small talk ain't gonna do shit. We are most definitely avoiding it, but don't take it personal, we do it to each other as well

Try finding likeminded people, having something in common to talk about is a sure bet most of the time. Small talk is just viewed as unnecessary and awkward.
Sitat av bluestraveler Vis innlegg
In my opinion it might has to do with the whole structure of the society. The strong government, a lot of socialism combined with the rules and benefits. You should keep things by yourself and mind your own business and so on. All the equality, which is great btw, but you certainly have that in other countries asuch well so that have nothing to do with it.
Vis hele sitatet...
Norway isn't a Socialist country. It's a Social Democracy, which is not the same as Socialism. The strong government helps keep a stable society, with among other things a lot of focus on individual rights and not just the rights of the rich and powerful.

But no this is an objective opinion
Vis hele sitatet...


Sitat av bluestraveler Vis innlegg
Yes you really get offended most of the time if you get criticised. I find that also very rare.
Vis hele sitatet...
Are you joking? It is not at all rare. Look at the US, for example. The degree of self-glorification there is beyond words.

This might be of some help, by the way:

http://thesocialguidebook.no/blogs/t...book-to-norway
I've noticed bit of the same thing, but this is mostly in large cities like Oslo and Trondheim.
I believe the reason for this is the amount of people, and generally the Norwegian way of being as others above me has explained.
As a Norwegian from the north, I've felt the same "cut off" behaviour, but I of course read this as not being unfriendly, but just not looking for any new acquaintances at the moment.

It seems to me that foreigners, are kind of always on the look out for new people to get to know, but that's where we're a tad different.
We're more happy and satisfied with what we already have.
I can understand why people form other countries have problems reading this, and feels that Norwegians are unfriendly.

And also, I feel we're more into few GREAT friends rather a lot of friends who you don't know if you can trust or not.

Quality frinds over quantity.

And this unfriendly thing I believe to be way off.

I'll give you and example

There has been these social experiments mostly in USA, you can watch them on youtube, where for example some guy falls over and looks kind of sick or just dead, at least in need of help. None helps, some just walks over and looks, and walks away.

There was a socialy experiment done in Norway to see how Norwegians would generally react to a stranger in need.

A boy alone, maybe 10-12 years old, during the winter, without a jacket sitting on a bench just minding his own business.
If I remember correctly, not a single Norwegian walked past without doing anything, some gave him their jackets until he could get home or something like that, one guy actually went to a store and bought him a completely new jacket.

However I might agree on the fact that we're a bit harder to get to know, but I think that's more of a privacy thing.
But I promise, most Norwegians are actually very lovable, easy going, helpful, considerate and good friends.

Good luck on getting to know Norwegians!
Merry Christmas.
Much has been said already. Just wanted to add a recommendation to spend half an hour on this video (it's mostly in English):

Pellegrino Riccardi: Er det lov å lykkes i Norge?
Sist endret av kallisti; 26. desember 2016 kl. 11:00.
*Warning, long post!*

This was a difficult one. I'm not sure if i totally agree with you. Generalizing in this way is never a good thing, but you may have a point.

Norway has a cold and dark climate. We have 2-3 months of warm summer. We are not that many people, about 5 million now, of which about 700 000 are immigrants. We live quite scattered and our history derives from working the ground, hunting, fishing and logging, learning to survive this harsh climate. It is not the same as living in a warm, summery climate where it is easier to be outside and socialize more often.

Not to mention the wars, monarchy and religious influence we have been living under for a long time too. May not be that significant, and that has been going on around the globe also, but still worth to mention.

These values and conditions would have rooted themselves into people for a long time, and may still be part of our mentality.

But even after considering this, when you think about the success we have had in the field of oil and all the wealth that has landed in our lap during the last 20-30 years, we might not have been ready for such wealth that arrived so quickly. This may also have influenced us a bit. Some of us may take it a bit for granted and become a little selfish because of it. But this is normal human behaviour. It is difficult to adapt to the mindset of being a part of such enormous wealth, when you have been accustomed to managing with very little for hundreds, even thousands of years.

These two big factors i think may have influenced us to become a little "locked up" in the encounter of this new wealth and age of time, and due to this we may be hard to get to know. But when you get to know us, you usually get a friend for life. We are a very productive people, and also close-knit. Just look to the comment sections of news articles regarding over-immigration ^^ Bad point, but still. We do not tolerate "falseness", or shallow values, very well. Our freedom is very important to us. Which again, may be rooted in the value of hard labour, which is of course necessary in order to upkeep a healthy society. Not everywhere in the world are they accustomed to this way of life, and this "clash of values" may be a hard lesson for some people.

Personally, i think you get what you give, wherever you are in the world. All the times i have been nice and tried to give a positive attitude, people have given me the same 95% of the time. If you want commitment and honesty, be honest and faithful. I believe these things go in circles. If you have a baggage of good memories, you will be a happier person. If you have a baggage of struggle, bullying and degrading behaviour, you will exhibit the same behaviour, either on a conscious or unconscious basis.

I have a story to tell as well, regarding this topic:

I tried a new hair salon in the city where i live. These were of Greek origin. They were nice and all, but during my haircut, a woman was finished and about to pay. They did not take payment cards there, and she had about 20kr (about 2$) short. I don't remember the exact situation, she thought she would not have to pay those extra 20kr for some reason. So she left, quite upset. I don't remember if she came back to pay.

But the way the woman hairdresser (clearly the owner and wife of the guy cutting my hair) was speaking to her, i think had a big deal to say. "But the sign says clearly that if you do this and that, it cost 2$ extra!! And it also says we don't take credit cards!!" She put up one big scene about the whole thing. And what struck me the most was, after the customer had left, she started talking to ME about it (the only customer there at that point)! ^^ I tried to calm her down, she went on about "Only in Norway are people like this!"

I had a little conversation with the guy cutting my hair (most likely her husband) about food. He proposed a new recipe with canned tuna. And the way he said this, was so weird ^^ I almost felt -threatened- to try it out, as if he was going to remember specifically when i returned to ask me about it!!

I wish them every bit of success, but needless to say, i haven't been back ^^

What is 20kr to lose a customer for, in comparison to the next 20 - 30 years, and the income that would bring?

So, your own attitude has a lot to say when you approach new people.

With all those personal perspectives out of the way, i think it is time to address the topic about yourself, and your attitude. And don't misunderstand, i am not trying to be sarcastic or offensive, just exploring the possibility.

Are you always Mr. Happy? Do you always walk around with a big smile on your face and tell jokes to everyone you meet to cheer them up? Life doesn't always work that way. Humans have emotions, and one little word or sentence may influence us to a huge degree. Even billionaires and in their circles i cannot imagine have their life perfect every hour of every day. Maybe even less so.

Maybe the way you approach people, under which circumstances, AND what your expectations of people have been, may have had a lot to say?
Sist endret av Taurean; 27. desember 2016 kl. 01:05.
In my personal opinion, Norwegians are easier to get to know than many others, for the simple reason that we all (mostly anyway) dislike small talk. For example in the US, UK or Aus where I have spent a lot of time the normal thing is to start with a "hey, how are you", "hey, how's it going" or "Hi, it's nice weather outside today". And the only acceptable answer to give is "I'm fine, how are you?" Which is so fucking boring and often times really hard to develop an actual conversation from there. I have noticed so many times that if you just start talking about the weather or some other pointless shit the conversation never goes any further than more pointless shit.

Every time I try to make friends while traveling and the conversations always, without exceptions, start with small talk like the ones mentioned above, I just start cringing and I can't keep up. The same as they probably cringe at me trying to make a valuable conversation with them without going through the motion of small talk first. It's just a matter of cultural differences as mentioned above. But if you know how to get around these cultural differences making friends is easy everywhere... How to get around small talk in other countries is a topic for a different time.

Getting to know a Norwegian person the easiest way is to just be open and "alpha". You say your coworkers don't invite you out anywhere, and yeah that's pretty fucked up of us Norwegians, but as mentioned above it's all about knowing the culture - invite yourself. Just say or ask: "Hey, do you mind if I join you for lunch today?" or "Can I join you for a night of drunkenness this evening". Unless you're a super creepy dude they will without question say "sure". Do not expect anyone to invite you out here - it's not about being cruel or cold, it's just how it is.

Every Norwegian friend I have that I didn't get to know through university, work or hobbies started with something like "What do you study" or "Do you like your job". These questions are open-ended enough that the conversation can easily be steered to more questions about who that person actually is, and not too direct to scare anyone off.

This is of course just my personal opinion so I might be wrong about the whole small talk thing, but that's my opinion as a dude who grew up in Norway and has traveled a lot (and also has a lot of friends in all cultures).
Hi, sadly you aren’t the only one. Norwegians aren’t always as up front as other countries and you often have to push yourself to know other. But when you first get to know Norwegian you will find out that we are a nice people, not rude to others, and welcoming. Me myself is 22 years old now, lived my whole life in Norway, and it took me 21 years to finally get a close friend. So, I recommend you to try harder, and not give up. Try to get a hobby, meet other, soon enough you will find someone who you can share a friendship whit. I think the problems is that you haven’t meet the right people.
I lived in the Netherlands for several years, and made mostly local, Dutch friends. Want to know the secret? I learned the language.

You say you have been here for 3 years, yet you are writing all of this in English. For a Dutchman, Norwegian is honestly not that difficult. You'll be amazed at how differently people will treat you if you make an effort.

Veel succes!
Hei! Sad to hear you encounter some issues with integration in the Norwegian social system as a Dutch person. Your message comes across as a bit disappointed and frustrated to me. It actually reminds me of my attitude towards Norwegians in the first year I lived in Norway as Dutch person. I hope that my message gives you some cultural understanding and tools to not blame the other, but to see possibilities for yourself as Dutchie in Norway :)

First, compared to in the Netherlands, socializing takes places in social bubbles. You have a bubble for your work, one for your hobby and so on. All are formed through an activity or thing you have in common. If you want to meet get in touch with Norwegians, you have to join a group that comes together for a purpose: Framed activities. I have made a lot of good friends by joining a student organization.

Second, going for a coffee or having dinner together is the outcome of an established friendship, not a means to get to know each other. If you want to meet up with a Norwegian from one of your social bubbles, you need to have a practical reason to meet. Norwegians seem to be a lot more comfortable to hang out if you give them a practical reason; if they can justify why they are doing it. For example: I found this new coffee bar that has amazing coffee. And then also give a practical reason why you only invite them, for example: While we drink coffee we can talk a bit about this project we work on. Do not get personal or show too much emotions. Keep the distance. Keep it equal.

Third, the Dutch culture differs a lot in giving feedback and showing non-verbal communication. In NL, being honest, emotional and direct is highly valued. When communicating similar, I noticed that Norwegians respond in a way that can be interpreted for a Dutch person as feeling personally attacked or overwhelmed. Neither are good when trying to form the basis for a new friendship. Nuance and positive feedback is the key to succeed at for example my work with only Norwegian colleagues. And yes, this takes energy and can feel very tiresome at times.

I very much recommend reading The Social Guidebook to Norway: Friendships and Relationships. And keep in mind that you cannot fight Norwegian culture and values. Just accept them for what they are and try to understand where they come from with an open perspective. And as said, learning the language is the key to integration. Keep your head up, there is a place for you in this society :)
Sitat av Boo-Boo Vis innlegg
In my personal opinion, Norwegians are easier to get to know than many others, for the simple reason that we all (mostly anyway) dislike small talk. For example in the US, UK or Aus where I have spent a lot of time the normal thing is to start with a "hey, how are you", "hey, how's it going" or "Hi, it's nice weather outside today". And the only acceptable answer to give is "I'm fine, how are you?" Which is so fucking boring and often times really hard to develop an actual conversation from there.
Vis hele sitatet...
Denne overfladiske etiketten rundt "How are you?" ble jeg spesielt lei av når jeg var på ferie i New York i fjor vår. Kom inn i en klesbutikk og ble møtt av en kvinnelig medarbeider som kom med den samme generiske og robotaktige frasen som alltid. Overtrøtt som jeg var bestemte jeg meg for å se hvordan hun ville respondere på et ærlig svar, så jeg svarte; "Well, I'm alright I guess. Didn't sleep very well last night because I was out drinking. Plus, i overslept and had to get out of the house in a real hurry to reach an appointment. So, yeah. Been better, but overall I can't complain. How about you?"

Glemmer aldri det sjokka og forvirra uttrykket hennes.

- Ops, ser jeg ble combobreaker #1 med språkbyttet mitt. Pardon!