Dette er for sykt, rapporten din altså. Men på samme tid føler jeg meg såpass trygg på innholdet i din (og min) trip at jeg ikke lenger er i tvil. Det er ikke uten grunn at de kaller denne arten for golden teacher, for gjett om den viser oss noe.

Jeg svarer på dette fordi jeg har hatt en tripp som føltes tilnærmet identisk som din. På en lav dose golden teacher, hvor jeg kom i kontakt med et innsektslignende skikkelse som gav meg så, så mye kjærlighet og nærhet. Intelligensen! Herre fred for en følelse av intelligens og all-viten som møtte meg, akkurat som deg. Det var som om jeg ble vist hele livets utvikling og reise. Det jeg synes er aller mest sprøtt, men samtidig ikke sprøtt i det hele tatt, er hvordan jeg også ble vist livets sirkel gjennom et liv som ble levd og oppløst til atomer. Jeg poster like greit rapporten min her (også på engelsk), så kan du og andre se hvor vanvittig like disse trippene var.

Det tok meg en stund å prosessere denne trippen, og den endte forandret meg til det bedre og forme karriæreveien min videre.

Her er den. Jeg skriver den som et tilsvar til en på reddit som har møtt "gud" på cubensis:

"I have met something I call "the insect god" on a trip. It was a tremendous, mindblowingly beautiful and grand experience. One of the biggest experiences in my life. I was thought so much, and given so much.

Cant explain with word. But the experience WAS the SAME as yous! Literally the same. Even down to that feeling and though going “this can’t be happening, this can’t be true, it’s too profound, it surely must be the shrooms”.

I’ve written about it here before as an answer to a guy asking if others have experiences of the shroom as a literal voice, as McKenna put it. I will copy paste it here.

“Everything is connected is the answer. And that life is just "is", in the sense that there is not much more to do from your point of view than to live, and to live it with love. Live and spread love and dont dwell on the meaning of life because then you become so occupied inside your own mind that you miss the chance to spread the love.

I encountered this shroom beeing, in the form of a insect god, last summer. She gave me immense love, and I think was partly because I have plants on my balcony to cater to increased biodiversity, and because I work in that field and because I strive to increase biovidersity wherever I can in my work.

But also because I have "understood" (personally atleast) over the last years of tripping and meditation, or atleast formed a personal meaning of that - everything in life holds the same spark. There is no difference between me and an ant. The foundation of being a living creature, animated by the spark of life, that is what it is about.

Man I really wish I could have shown you guys the trip I had last summer on 1.5g of fine cubensis. I have never in my life experienced anything more beautiful. I lied in a dark room, on my sofa curled up in the fetus position, eyes closed.

I was in a forest of kelp made of light. Google "kelp". It was just like that, but the kelp was neon colored and swayed in the "wind". Black backdrop. Incredibly colorful. Beyond words.

A presence emerged. Manifested from millions of particles very small, (wow im almost getting tears in my eyes by writing his because how beautiful it was.. ). Like sand, millions of shiny particles, like atoms, swoshing like an ocean, and like a ball of sand would do if it casually flew past you. Windy.

The particles was there all the time, holding the creature together, forming the gist of it but also making it possible for it to shift in form and shape.

It was a female creature. An insect, of some sort. Thousands upon thousands of insects roamed around her, flying, buzzing, crawling. Crawling on me, around me. It was not scary, it was almost loving. She was powerful, ohh so powerful, filled with light, defenitly a godly presence. I felt power, and I felt immense love coming from her.

I just laid there, inside this world, and communicated. She kind of latched on to me, merged with me, caressed me. I felt the very real feeling of (and also saw with my inner eye) her chitin structure, the same thing that insects exoskeleton conssit of, caressing me but not doing any harm to my skin, not ripping but still touching. Like dragon skin.

We tangled, and she really merged with me. I asked questions, in the form of thought, and my visions manifested the answer. She physically changed shape to provide the answer.

I asked her what the meaning of life was. Before my thought had finished the sentence, the head of someone I hold very dear and someone I really loved, was shown before me.

The loved one suddenly, died, rotted and was eaten by insects and only the skull was left. It happened in seconds.

And it was beautiful. Really beautiful. The insects were eating her dead face, and yet I lay there smiling, tears in my eyes, because the message of life was conveyed to me in such a format that I could understand. Metaphorically. You cant understand this by writing a sentence, you gotta understand it by getting punched in your stomach and opening your eyes.

I got the message that life is about love. It is about life itself, however stupid that might sound. Life is about living, loving, and then the pieces of you gets absorbed into life itself and is reanimated in other life forms. It is really simple, yet so incredibly complext at the same time.

These words doesnt do the experience justice at all. Im sitting here with a "lump in my troath" writing this, because the experience was so beautiful, and powerful, me.

I defenitly, "telephatically", or atleast inside my head, in the form of me thinking a thought and getting answers with visions - communicated with something far greater than myself.

It has made me so much more in awe of the world, and in many was much more a humble servant of the bigger picture.

There is something going on here, that is beatiful and immense, but it totally goes below the radar of the human daily day psyche.”

I en annen redditpost svarer jeg dette, i en post med navn "the mushroom speaks":

"Do you know what? I highly recommend you and all others to watch the netflix documentary called "My octopus teacher".

You will understand what I mean when the scene comes around where the guy explains that after swimming with that octopus for 1 year every day he starts to intuitivly understand the intelligence of the ecosystem of the ocean. He sees the patters, the intricate relationship between the species, everything.

And the most fucked up part is that he explains it so well - and that ive met and seen the same beeing on shrooms. That gaia spirit, that tought me so much.

This knowledge is there for all to pick up. Its just very very difficult to do in a city life where there are so many impressions constantly washing out the sand mandala of truth. Give it enough time and that mandala forms a clear picture, like the reflection in a calm lake. But there is so much disturbance to the surface of that lake, every day, thoughts emotions aspirations sorrows life life life. When you manage to calm the surface of the lake for a long enough time - the world appears to you in a very different light. You start to understand then. Man life is fascinating.

There is something to this, there is no doubt about that."

Grunnen til at jeg poster dette er at det er så magisk å forstå at andre har akkurat den samme opplevelsen, den samme forståelsen. Det gir dyp mening til opplevelsene å se at de er "real". Det har jeg også alltid trodd, men troen blir sterkere nå.